Bullish on Collapse
When banks follow the science.
No one really read the report.
It was an eighty-two-page glossy PDF titled Climate Risk & Infrastructure Trends, filed between Air Purification Futures and Long-Range Desalination Dividends.
Buried in a footnote was a single line casually stating: Baseline scenario: 3.2°C warming by 2085. Adaptation expected to drive demand across 17 core sectors.
The projections had shifted quietly over a decade — from 1.5, to 2, then 3.2. No one rang an alarm. Just updated the charts and rebalanced portfolios.
In the corner office, Paul clicked his pen.
“So we double down on smart cooling, synthetic crops, and coastal engineering?”
“Exactly,” the analyst replied. “Plus water rights — freshwater futures are already surging in the southwestern corridor.”
Paul grinned. His grandfather had survived the Dust Bowl. Felix planned to profit from the next one.
“God bless collapse. Nothing drives innovation like catastrophe.”
Downstairs, janitors mopped the marble floors as the thermostat crept upwards. One had a damp rag pressed to his neck, already soaked through before noon. Heat wavered in the windowpane, bending the light like a mirage.
Outside, the sun beat down on a city whose future was being traded like any other asset — packaged, hedged, indexed, and sold to anyone with the right portfolio.
The world was burning. But on Wall Street, it was a bull market.
Real headlines that vaguely resemble today’s fiction:
https://www.eenews.net/articles/big-banks-predict-catastrophic-warming-with-profit-potential/
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If you are confusing this with real news, please unplug your Wi-Fi router, go outside and touch some grass to get back to reality. Full disclaimer here.